Grindr Gross: Sounds like a keeper…

OR A FUCKING CREEPER. GTFO YOU ASSHOLE.
(PS: please return my calls. i didn’t mean it.)
Rejecting supremely hot people on my fake Grindr account is the best “worst way” to make myself feel better.
Grindr Gross: Job Offer or Pants Off-er?

i hate mixed messages. And pistachios.
sean cody meets carson daly

incredibly unclever title for an incredibly unclever band. all i have to say to you is “what what … in the butt”
they eat cheetos face down in Ohio. Trust.
(created by Awkward Suzie. Submitted to Texts from Hillary)
Foursquare gerrymanders our political landscape.
(Created by Awkward Suzie. Submitted to Texts from Hillary)
You’re so 2008. I’m so 2000 and late.
(created by Awkward Suzie. Submitted to Texts from Hillary)
Grindr Gross: Amber Alert

this is just fucking weird.
2012 Democratic Primary

This is who I want to pick up the phone at 3 AM. Hillack Rosein Clibama.
Grindr Gross: Desperate to Skeeze

when i get drunk, even my compliments are borderline racist.
JEEPERS CREEPERS MERYL STREEPERS IN A JEEPER WITH HER BEEPER AFTER HITTING A SHEEPER CREEPER